My dentist said I hurt his feelings.
For the record, he hurt mine first.
Let’s start from the beginning, though…
I woke up on Wednesday morning, the day of my wisdom teeth extraction (and also Valentines Day) feeling the onset of a panic attack, which I’m prone to.
Since I was instructed to not eat or drink anything – even water – eight hours before the surgery, I knew I couldn’t take a Xanax, so I calmed myself down on my own. How? By telling myself that I didn’t have to go through with the surgery.
So I lay there in bed, contemplating how to tell Mr. Routine when he woke up that, hey, thanks for taking the day off of work to bring me to the dentist, but I’m not going. I’m calling it off.
After lying in bed for a while longer, though, I started to give myself a little pep talk. Self, I said, it’s about time to act like an adult and face your fears.
I mean, not only did I have my family rooting me on, but I had all my new blogger friends behind me, too (thankfully holding off on their wisdom teeth horror stories).
And so I decided I would go through with it. Why delay the inevitable? I thought.
Besides, Mr. Routine and I had been watching The Hills on MTV a couple nights before, and Whitney, one of the girls on the show, had had her wisdom teeth removed. If she could do it, Mr. Routine assured me, surely so could I.
On the way to the dentist, I had that nervous feeling in my stomach. I was wishing that my regular dentist performed this kind of surgery (he doesn’t, so he had to refer me to another dentist) because my dentist is young and friendly, and he lets you watch television on a flat screen T.V. while you’re there.
The dentist performing my surgery has his office in a building straight out of the 70’s – it’s like a wood and paneling nightmare.
Once we got there, though, I tried to stay calm. I told Mr. Routine that I was going to owe $75 for the X-ray they had taken during my consultation a few weeks ago, and he went on a rant about our insurance. I assured him that our dental insurance woes weren’t exactly in the forefront of my mind, what with the impending extractions and all, but he didn’t really seem to understand.
I wished I had brought my mom with me instead.
Once I was called in, the dental assistants* got to work on me right away. I could tell one of them was in a bad mood. What gave it away? She (I’ll call her Assistant #1) asked where someone was, and when the other assistant (Assistant #2) replied that that person wasn’t in yet, Assistant #1 said she was going to, “smash someone today.”
Yes, that’s a direct quote.
OK, so I’m the kind of person who needs to feel at ease during uncomfortable procedures. And I wasn’t exactly feeling at ease at the time.
Both assistants were hooking me up to all kinds of doodads – velcro straps around my wrist, wires hooked up to the straps – and I was asking what everything was for.
I mean, I know that these things are routine for them, but they aren’t for me, so I just wanted to be a little informed.
“This is to monitor your heartrate.”
“This is to monitor your breathing.”
It was all happening so fast – and with such haste, it seemed – that my heart was racing and my breathing was getting faster and faster.
Assistant #3 came in the room, and I asked her if I would be completely knocked out or if I would know what was going on around me.
She told me that it depends on how I reacted to the medication… some people want to be able to talk to them while it’s going on, while others prefer to be out completely.
“I want to be out completely,” I said. But it didn’t seem like they were really paying attention to me all that much.
Then the dentist flew into the room and said a very quick hello. As Assistant #2 strapped an oxygen mask around my face, the dentist started putting a tourniquet around my arm. “I’m going to put the IV in now,” he said.
I suddenly found my voice. “OK, this is all happening very fast. I would just like to know what’s going on,” I said.
The activity in the room stopped, and the dentist looked at me blankly. “OK. You’re. here. to. get. your. wisdom. teeth. out. I’m. putting. a. tourniquet. around. your. arm. and. I’m. going. to. put. the. IV. in.”
That’s how he said it – slow and patronizingly.
I explained that I have hard veins to find, and that I’d rather everything go just a bit slower.
“Actually, we are going very slow. And who told you that you have hard veins to find?” he asked.
“Practically everyone who has ever taken blood from me,” I replied. “And I just feel very rushed.”
“Well, if you had let me put the IV in when I first wanted to, it would be in right now, and you wouldn’t feel rushed,” he said cockily.
That was it. “OK,” I said, “I’m not doing this today. “
There was confusion all around. What did I mean?
“You’re being very condescending towards me, and I don’t appreciate it. I’m telling you I’m scared, I feel rushed, I want to know what’s going on, and you just aren’t listening to me. I’m going home.” And with that, I started to take off all the doodads.
Probably concerned mostly about the money he wouldn’t be getting that day, the dentist suddenly went into caring mode, and told the assistants that he would step out while they talked to me and helped me settle down.
Of course, as soon as he left, I broke into tears. And all of a sudden the assistants went from blase to my best friends.
Assistant #3 sat down next to me and took my hand. “Are you nervous?” she asked.
WAS SHE KIDDING ME!? I nodded yes.
“How long have you been putting this off?” she asked.
“About seven years,” I told her. “All of this just makes me very uncomfortable, and I just want to know what’s going on every step of the way.” LIKE I’D BEEN TELLING THEM ALL ALONG!
I finally got all the information I was looking for… all three of them explained every part of the procedure – what all the doodads were for, what medication would be put into the IV, what the medication would feel like as it went in, how long it would take for me to be put under, how long the surgery would take – everything I’d wanted to know from the beginning.
A few minutes went by, and the dentist stuck his head in. “I have a message from your husband,” he said.
I was hoping it would be something sweet like, “I love you and I will be here to take care of you when you’re done.”
Instead the message he relayed was: “Whitney did it, so can you.”
Music to my ears.
I wished even more that I had brought my mom instead.
In any case, I decided to go through with the surgery. The dentist was a bit more gentle with me, and the assistants were actually great. They held my hand as the IV went in, and then as the novicaine went in.
I actually do remember bits and pieces of the extraction (he did, after all, yank the shit out of my jaw), but I was too medicated for it to hurt or to make too much of an impression on me. I was pretty much in la la land.
When I woke up, Assistant #1 took me into another room to give me the dos and don’ts of post-surgery.
That’s when the dentist poked his head into the room again. “How are you feeling?”
I gave him the thumbs up (I was a little too swollen to talk).
“You hurt my feelings,” he said.
If I hadn’t felt like I was about to swallow my tongue, I would have told him he could shove it up his ass… but alas, all I could muster was a shrug.
Luckily, since my teeth weren’t impacted, I didn’t need any stitches, and so far (it’s been 3 days since the surgery) everything has been fine (knock on wood)! I’ve been following all the directions they gave me, so hopefully that continues to pay off.
Thank goodness for Codeine and ice, though.
Of course, the best medicine has been my babies, Big Boy and Poopy Girl, giving me tons of Mama kisses and love. They are such calming forces. If they had been allowed to go into the surgery room with me, they would have kept me totally relaxed the entire time.
I have to go back to the dentist for a check-up next Wednesday.
I’ll try not to hurt his feelings again… but I’m not making any promises.
I apologize, but I don’t know the correct term for the women helping the dentist out – are they hygienists or dental assistants? For the purpose of this post, since they were assisting my dentist, they are called dental assistants.
February 17, 2007 at 11:12 pm
Okay, first thought is that The Hills is my guilty pleasure. Secondly what a story! That is one for the record books, and good for you for sticking up for yourself! Sometimes it’s really hard for me to do that.
Side note, right now I’m doggy sitting for my siss, who you remind me of in some ways. She’s 26 married, with two dogs. Our house is INSANE with three dogs and three kids. I took them all to this dog park today. Without the hubby. Am I crazy? My mom met me there luckily.
I’m glad your feeling well, and not glad that I’m going to have to get my other two out very soon. Ugh!
February 18, 2007 at 4:50 am
Glad you didn’t need stitches and that everything went well
Yes, having dogs around is really calming at times. They seem to know just how you’re feeling and know how to make things all better
We had two dogs and three cats. We had to give the Jack Russell back to its old owner because he was really snippy with little children. We now have one dog and two cats. The old cat ran away once we got the kittens
Anyway, Happy one month Blogaversary to you tomorrow!!
February 18, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Good to see you’re feeling better. You acted a lot better than I would have toward the assistants and dentist. I would have definitely walked out.. doodads hooked up and everything. But, now it’s over for you. And Im sure you’ll feel MUCH better soon!
February 18, 2007 at 4:25 pm
Good for you for sticking up for yourself! I probably would have just freaked out and sat there miserable. Glad the pain is under control and that you are back to blogging!
February 18, 2007 at 4:28 pm
God, I hate going to the dentist. Your post has inspired me to take a new approach the next time I go which will be something along the lines of: “Imagine I am four years old and if you don’t tell me, very kindly, slowly and thoroughly exactly what your are doing and why you are doing it, I will collapse in a screaming, fist-pounding fit on the floor.”
February 18, 2007 at 4:43 pm
You poor thing! He sounds like a horrible dentist! He should have been explaining things better and not rushing you! Instead of him telling you that you hurt his feelings he should have said, I am sorry for hurting your feelings! What a jerk!
February 18, 2007 at 7:52 pm
You should have thrown a plate of spaghetti and a soda on that son-of-a-bitch!
February 19, 2007 at 10:23 am
I have to rant for a moment: Anyone who tells you that you have difficult veins shouldn’t be drawing blood. There is no such thing. Bruises are also the fault of the phlebotomist or nurse or whomever – don’t let them tell you its yours. It means they went all the way through your vein, like an idiot.
Unless you have sclerosed (scarred from overuse, like drug abusers or people who have to have blood taken 500 times a day) there is no excuse for causing someone pain, or not being able to get blood in 10 seconds.
Sorry, thats a personal pet peeve of mine. We have too many people terrified of blood draws because of the idiots who are taking blood!
/end rant
Now.. I feel your pain on the wisdom teeth!!!
I had all of mine out at 23 and I only had Novocaine, cos I didn’t want to go under. My dentist was a doll, though. But it was very painful and I bled like a stuck pig. And Im allergic to synthetic codeine, so I couldnt have Vicodin – and he wasnt willing to give me Morphine or heroin, so I was kind of stuck with Advil.
What a joy that was.
I’m glad you survived it, good for you!!!
February 20, 2007 at 12:23 am
I cannot believe he said “you hurt my feelings”. I would have flipped him off. And then kicked my husband in the shins. Good for you to stop everything and make them explain it to you. What an arse. Make sure you tattle on him to your dentist(who I assume gave you the referral to him). I’m sure it was awful at the time, but, its a great story. Kind of like the time my husband’s ex-fiancee was present during my pap smear at my 6 week post birth check up. And I didn’t know it was her. He hadn’t seen her in 8 years since he broke off the engagement. Nice. That’s a fun one too.
Glad you’re doing well. I’ve linked you on my blog. More people need to read you.
February 20, 2007 at 7:33 am
Eve – I love The Hills, too! Can’t miss an episode! And wow, how ambitious are you, bringing all those kids and animals to the dog park!?
Chrissy – Animals are the best, aren’t they!?
Red – Yes, I’m already feeling much better, thank you!
Lane – I’m glad I’m back to blogging, too… it’s a great way to vent!
Anna – I think I’m going to actually print that out and recite it next time I go to the dentist! Great idea.
Lifelemons – Yeah, he really shouldn’t have said that, huh? Weirdo.
Mom – If the plate of spaghetti and soda were available, they would have been thrown!
Isabella – No, thank you for ranting! I’m glad to have someone who knows what she’s talking about tell me that! And wow, only having Novocain when you got your wisdom teeth out!? You’re braver than me!
Joni – Thanks so much! I’m linking you, too… And what a story that is about your husband’s ex-fiancee there during your pap smear! Talk about uncomfortable in so many ways!!
February 20, 2007 at 8:41 am
[...] was a lot less anxious as I sat in the exam chair than I had been last week. But I still didn’t know if I would be getting an icy or a warm reception from the [...]
February 20, 2007 at 10:50 am
you poor thing!!! I hope I never have to go through that! I think hygenists and assistants are actually 2 different things, but does it really matter when you’re the one being tortured?!
February 21, 2007 at 2:46 am
That’s it, I’m officially embarrassed to be involved in any kind of healthcare industry. And this isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way. I AM SO SORRY that even minimal standards for patient education and basic explanations and other such simplicities about the invasive things we are getting ready to do to your body can’t seem to be met. What an ego – you hurt his feelings?
I’m just sorry, sorry, sorry. This does, however, help me reaffirm my promise to NEVER treat patients that way.
Quality patient care – yet another of my Dying Arts (gosh, that list keeps growing…)
Hope you are well again very soon and very glad you are blogging again!
February 27, 2007 at 10:26 pm
I know this post is a few days old, but I just found you and I just have to say, WOW! Good for you for standing up for yourself!! I can’t even count how many times I’ve been in similar situations and said nothing. I can’t believe he had the balls to tell you his feelings were hurt – UGH! It’s amazing to me how many healthcare workers forget that they are working with living, breathing, PEOPLE.
Glad everything turned out ok. Getting your wisdom teeth out sucks! I had mine out in college and it was the first time I had ever had anything done – totally terrifying!
March 1, 2007 at 9:31 pm
Your mantra was “Whitney did it, so can you” mine tomorrow will be “Doggy Mama did it, so can you”. LOL
Your dogs are too cute!!! Can you send them to my house to give me doggy love while I recouperate??
March 8, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Wow…I can’t stand going to the dentist either, but my coping mechanism is exactly the opposite. I walk in and say “Don’t tell me anything. Stick the needle in my vein and let me know when it’s over.” I couldn’t believe the root canal guy wanted me to watch the whole thing on a little monitor like it was some sort of treat!
But I agree they need to give you just as much info as you ask for, unless it actually endangers the operation.
July 10, 2007 at 7:52 pm
Oh my goodness!! What a story! Is it too much to ask to be informed what they are shoving into your body? I think not!
Thanks for the comment on my dd’s orthodontic nightmare! It was bad, but not quite as bad as yours!